Forced marriages...does it still happen?

Good day Kenny,I ran away from home in 1979. I grew up in Birmingham and I knew from a very early age that I would have an arranged marriage, from as young as 11 or 12. All my sisters had been married through the arranged system. I was very frightened by what I saw them go through and I wanted to leave. But I didn't imagine the repercussions of disownment would be just as bad as if I'd had an arranged marriage, but they were. When you leave home like I did you lose your whole community - single independent women are simply not accepted, I certainly wasn't.
My worth as a girl was very low. I had no future. There was physical abuse from my siblings that was just condoned by my parents. My parents were very unhappy that they'd had four daughters because they were people who were born in the 1940s and 50s, for whom having boy children was hugely important.
I was 17 when I ran away. I had confided in a teacher and she helped me. Education was not important to my parents - sewing, cooking and serving people in the family were considered much more relevant. I wanted to study so I did, which was fortunate because after I left home I went into nursing, and then social work, and I've done well in 25 years.
After I ran away, I lived in my teacher's house for a short time, and then went off to become a nurse. I looked after myself by always making sure I was part of a big institution. I did try to make contact with my family but it was always fraught. My mother turned me away at the door, which was very, very painful. I was told my father had said I was no longer his daughter. Other people in the extended family knew I'd left home, and so I'd brought shame on the family. My final contact was when I decided that I was going to get married to an Englishman when I was 27, and to my family that was really the final straw. It was actually my sisters' husbands more than anyone who made sure none of the family saw me, and my sisters probably wouldn't have been able to stay in their marriages if they had fought for me, but even so, I found that very hard.
I've struggled to understand why any parent could do this. I have two grown-up sons, and they've been disowned by my family, too. It's awful that they should have to suffer - my children have a right to family life, to the aunties and uncles that are out there for them.
Now, as well as social work, working to affect the lives of people affected by violence or forced marriage. We talk to about 250 people a week, and numbers are always increasing. It's only recently that anyone has had someone to talk to about this kind of thing.
It's not been until now that I've been able to talk to other people who've gone through the same things as me. Breaking the silence after 30 years is very important to me.

Should i cheat on my husband.

Thanks Kenny for opening this blog,this is timely. My name is Judith and will like other women to hear my story and advise me on what to do.I met my husband during my NYSC days and love sparked from there,had so many suitors but choose him because of the love i had for him.The marriage is blessed with 4 kids. My husband was a bank manager when we first met and all things were going on well till i became pregnant,my husband started keeping late nights,sleeps out,womanise and i became a punching bag.The worst part was my joblessness. He rose to an Executive position and the nextel thing...He moved out and moved in with a widow at Ikeja. God gave me a job and the burden was less. He had an issue in his company and they sacked him,he came back pennyless. He has been jobless and at home for years now. I am the sole bread winner of the whole house,the school fees of four kids and the rent is always waiting for me to take care of. Recently,i met a man and without knowing it,started having feelings for him. I told him my story and he offered to assist me with the childrens school fees,though no intimacy but i know that may happen soon. What should i do?