The negleted married woman..help....

I got married when I was 20 years old and have been married for 6 years .I admit that I have cheated on my husband more then once. I remember clearly that the first time was after 2 years into our marriage. It was due to neglect. My husband was never home for me. He works till late in the night  as this allows him to earn a bit more money from overtime allowances. So by the time he comes home it is usually in the morning and always too tired for anything and during the day while I am out and going about doing things he would be at home sleeping. It all started on one of the lonely night, while he was away, I would search on the internet for someone to chat with and listen to me. One thing lead to another and sex became a big part in those relationships.

Three months later, my husband noticed some changes, stopped the night duties and the problem was assumed resolved. At first, we started working towards improving the marital issues between us, we started working things out and we again seemed much more in love.  

I decided to put those affairs behind me by telling myself that I was young/ naive and not sure of what I really wanted. I soon realized that I wasn't too young after all. I actually really enjoy the attention and the doting by other men and that I do enjoy their companion.

  I also realized that there are things that are missing from my relationship with my husband and that it can never be found with him. So I decided to continue searching for other man that can fulfill these missing desires, while I keep them undercover for the sake of my husband.

I really need to come out of this but am so engrossed in it

For working mothers……….i partially agree with this article. Do you?

Marriage is one of the most important decisions in a lifetime, a serious commitment, which will pave out the years of the married couples life. This engagement between a man and a woman is a promise of love during both difficult times and happy times, both have obligations towards one another as well as rights.

Nowadays, the hectic rhythm of life sometimes creates overwhelming obstacles for the couple. Those woman with jobs or career`s find it more and more difficult to cope with work and their families at once. We all know that sometimes, it is impossible to do so, a woman has a set of family responsibilities at home, especially when our kids are young, having job responsibilities and deadline will cause an undue stress that will lead to the deterioration in the couple’s relationship.

Statistically married women have elevated rates of depression as opposed to unmarried ones, and this is an issue that most marriages will be faced with during their life together. This is caused by marital stress and conflicts in relationship and roles.

We must be sensitive to the symptoms of depression, hypertension, feeling of sadness, anxiety, fatigue, energy loss and withdrawal from activities, loss of interest in one self and other as well as in sex.

Working mothers are prone to depression for they bear the weight of household work and their jobs together, working in two different environments which are completely different to one another. The double rols they play are simply too much for most women to endure.

Do Christian husbands have problem? Hmmmmm

I have been praying for some time now to find some help and friend, was referred to this site today. Please take time to read this and pray and advise me if you can.

I have been married for 30 years and  at the edge of my breaking point. My husband and I have no relationship, we live in a beautiful house but separated, he is in one part of the house while am in another, we haven’t slept in the same bed in over 3 years. We haven’t had sex in about 2 years and half now. He talks to me in a disrespectful manner and am tired of it.

My husband is a flirt, supposed Christian/ spirit filled, commits all sorts without any form of apology, we are supposed to be Christians and it didn’t start out like this. He committed adultery nine years ago and we have tried as much as we can to work it out, I also found out that he clubs and drinks in a daily basis.

Anytime I think that I’ve forgiven him, something he does or says will bring it up to my mind. The kids are the reason  am still In the marriage and trust me, I have paid great price for it.

I honestly know that this is not the will of God for two Christians to live like this, we tried counseling but  it didn’t work for us. I was getting tired of the ups and downs and no longer healthy for both of us.

 I was at the point that Agape love was what we believed that will turn the marriage around.

 

Should I date my late husband’s best friend?

Hi, my husband passed away two years ago, due to the circumstances surrounding his death and his actions before his death. I became very close to his best friend who has always been there for me and the kids.

During these periods, my husband’s best friend and I have become closer, and  today, he called to ask for us to hang out.

I am not sure if this is the right thing for me to do , I am very uncertain…..i have heard about people dating their deceased husband or wife’s best friend. What do you think?

On the other side I feel that my husband still want me to happy and I can’t help this feeling that am  betraying him. I guess I have some serious thinking to do!

Forced marriages...does it still happen?

Good day Kenny,I ran away from home in 1979. I grew up in Birmingham and I knew from a very early age that I would have an arranged marriage, from as young as 11 or 12. All my sisters had been married through the arranged system. I was very frightened by what I saw them go through and I wanted to leave. But I didn't imagine the repercussions of disownment would be just as bad as if I'd had an arranged marriage, but they were. When you leave home like I did you lose your whole community - single independent women are simply not accepted, I certainly wasn't.
My worth as a girl was very low. I had no future. There was physical abuse from my siblings that was just condoned by my parents. My parents were very unhappy that they'd had four daughters because they were people who were born in the 1940s and 50s, for whom having boy children was hugely important.
I was 17 when I ran away. I had confided in a teacher and she helped me. Education was not important to my parents - sewing, cooking and serving people in the family were considered much more relevant. I wanted to study so I did, which was fortunate because after I left home I went into nursing, and then social work, and I've done well in 25 years.
After I ran away, I lived in my teacher's house for a short time, and then went off to become a nurse. I looked after myself by always making sure I was part of a big institution. I did try to make contact with my family but it was always fraught. My mother turned me away at the door, which was very, very painful. I was told my father had said I was no longer his daughter. Other people in the extended family knew I'd left home, and so I'd brought shame on the family. My final contact was when I decided that I was going to get married to an Englishman when I was 27, and to my family that was really the final straw. It was actually my sisters' husbands more than anyone who made sure none of the family saw me, and my sisters probably wouldn't have been able to stay in their marriages if they had fought for me, but even so, I found that very hard.
I've struggled to understand why any parent could do this. I have two grown-up sons, and they've been disowned by my family, too. It's awful that they should have to suffer - my children have a right to family life, to the aunties and uncles that are out there for them.
Now, as well as social work, working to affect the lives of people affected by violence or forced marriage. We talk to about 250 people a week, and numbers are always increasing. It's only recently that anyone has had someone to talk to about this kind of thing.
It's not been until now that I've been able to talk to other people who've gone through the same things as me. Breaking the silence after 30 years is very important to me.

Should i cheat on my husband.

Thanks Kenny for opening this blog,this is timely. My name is Judith and will like other women to hear my story and advise me on what to do.I met my husband during my NYSC days and love sparked from there,had so many suitors but choose him because of the love i had for him.The marriage is blessed with 4 kids. My husband was a bank manager when we first met and all things were going on well till i became pregnant,my husband started keeping late nights,sleeps out,womanise and i became a punching bag.The worst part was my joblessness. He rose to an Executive position and the nextel thing...He moved out and moved in with a widow at Ikeja. God gave me a job and the burden was less. He had an issue in his company and they sacked him,he came back pennyless. He has been jobless and at home for years now. I am the sole bread winner of the whole house,the school fees of four kids and the rent is always waiting for me to take care of. Recently,i met a man and without knowing it,started having feelings for him. I told him my story and he offered to assist me with the childrens school fees,though no intimacy but i know that may happen soon. What should i do?